The good things are usually hard!

Things that are worth while are usually HARD! – Aaron

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A friend said this to me lately and the truth of it hit me in many ways.
Going through college and graduating in my field was hard, even though I loved it. Going through Yoga Teacher Training (twice) was hard, and definitely worth it.
Raising a kid as a single mom… HARD &… BRUTIFUL, as would say Glennon Doyle Melton. Yes, brutal and beautiful.

Not that motherhood is ever easy. But motherhood as a single parent is demanding on so many levels : emotionally, physically, financially, time wise and organizationally. It’s Hard because you’re doing everything alone. There’s no one there to split tasks with or to have a turn at dealing with the crisis or tantrum going on. All decisions fall on you. All the costs of raising this child are yours (emotional, financial, career wise…).
And there’s nobody by your side to share the joys with you either. How many times did I want to turn to her dad to share her latest achievement, only to remember he wasn’t there.

And in this space… There’s an opportunity!
Yes an opportunity… (I told you it was also beautiful, didn’t I?).
An opportunity to ask for help, to share the joy and the burden with others.
To let other people in.
To surround yourself with a community, so your child can be raised by a village.

My village is made of different parts : her dad, my family and friends, her friends and their parents, our neighbors, her educators, etc.
What I came to learn is that these people were there from the start.
I didn’t know at first, because I thought I was alone. I thought I could do it on my own and that I needed to show them how strong and brave I was.
But boy did I get tired… And then depressed and lonely!
Until I slowly started asking for help here and there. And you know what happened? People showed up and were happy to help. I remember one of my friends telling me when I asked him to babysit my daughter : “It’s about time! I’ve been looking forward to helping you and having time with her”. I was crestfallen.
In this process I’ve learned that it’s okay to be vulnerable. It’s okay to be imperfect. It’s okay to ask for help and not be able to do it all on my own.
It’s okay even when it’s hard.

 

Loving what Is!

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Loving what is! The beauty of the present moment…

California, matcha latte, feeling comfortable in my own skin!
I find that I ‪#‎shinetrue‬ when I appreciate where I’m at and what is happening in the moment, even when it’s not perfect.
If you look at my picture, you’ll notice, it’s NOT perfect. See all those boxes behind me? Not Instagram worthy really…
Here’s the thing though, I couldn’t see the boxes when the picture was taken, I didn’t care about the boxes in the least. I was happy for being with a dear friend in a delightful restaurant, enjoying delicious food in my Soul Home that is California. I was feeling more of myself then I have in the last couple of years : vibrant, radiant, feminine and empowered. I was in the moment!
Savouring every drop of joy and pleasure that came my way : sun, ocean, beach, friendship, sensuality, spontaneity…
What do you love in the present moment?
#shinetrue ‪#‎bepresent‬

The essence of Shine True

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Photograph by Helmut Newton, Remixer unknown

David Bowie represented for me the ESSENCE of what it is to Shine True… He had his own way and he followed his path, even though it didn’t fit with the culture and social rules of the time.
Reading a post, where Bowie speaks of dreaming in technicolor and not always making the distinction between the dreamtime and reality, is a reminder that a new reality can only emerge from a different energy then the energy of our current reality.
I’ve been questioning how much dreaming I’ve been doing lately… I realized I haven’t dreamed much, “stuck” in my reality and my perception of it’s “permanence”… What a lie that is, really!!!
Everything is IMPERMANENT! THIS TO SHALL PASS!

What a liberation… Going back to dreaming and nourishing my desires, so a new “reality” can emerge : Beach house, warm country, ocean, surfing and loving partner!

“I love you, but I’m letting go.”

I love you, but I’m letting go… What a wonderful thing to do.
I’ve let go of some lovely ambitions to have time with my daughter and the energy to Enjoy time with her. I’ve let go of TV to get back into my yoga practice, I’ve let go of lunch time with colleagues for 5 years so I could teach yoga and share my passion wholeheartedly.

I’m at the point where I know I’ll need to let go again, so I can move forward on my path…
What are you willing to let go of, so you can do the thing you really want to do?

#shinetrue #shinetruecoaching #shinetrueessence

Let life have you

Let life have you.-Byron Katie

OMG! This is so a propos… In the last few weeks I’ve been seeing myself leaning into Life or the Divine, as I’ve been riding waves of sadness and grief over my dad’s passing and a difficult year. The leaning into has allowed me to trust that things will come in due time : energy, joy, getting back to my yoga practice. And as I lean, I observe that some things are getting easier.

My life hasn’t transformed overnight, but things are easier. My yoga mat feels like a friend again, not something to avoid at all cost, although going to the mat will bring tears and meltdowns! But I’m ready. I’m ready to lean and to be caught 🙂

Where are you at? Leave a comment so we can catch you!

#shinetrue #shinetruecoaching #shinetrueessence

Art and passion

OMG! Still working on this one.
I thought I was doing what I loved, but the passion as gone from the work I do as a counsellor. So I have been slowly quitting my profession, in my own mind for the last week and it feels True.
I still don’t know what is next for me, although I feel I can Shine more Brightly when I’m passionate about things : cooking healthy and yummy food, teaching yoga and being a life coach. Maybe I’ll end up being the Cooking Life Yogini 🙂

Next step… Reconnecting to my desires.

What makes you Shine and feel True? Post your comments below so we can continue the conversation!

#shinetrue #shinetrueessence #shinetruecoaching

What do you value?

OMG! I love this… It’s been a difficult period lately where I’m learning to see my own value at another level and cherishing it. As I do this, I’ve seen people that didn’t value me, fade away from my life. I’m still in the process of integrating and reclaiming my own power, so I have relapses and I would beg people to like me… Until I remember how tired and uncomfortable that is in the long run.

How does this speak to you?

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#shinetrue #shinetruecoaching #shinetrueessence

Breaking rules

Sorry I broke your rules. I was busy following my intuition.

My intuition has guided me in working part-time while taking care of my daughter as a single mom. It has guided me into leaving a secure job to go to Australia for 6 months, with no clear plan. It has guided me to train to be a yoga teacher and a life coach. I’ve also been guided in ending friendships that didn’t feel good anymore, relationships that weren’t in alignment with what I wanted for my daughter and I. And most of all, it’s guided me in being truer to myself, even if it’s not the “social norm”

What about you???

#shinetrue #shinetrueessence #shinetruecoaching #breakingrules

Owning my story

Owning our story can be hard but not nearly as difficult as spending our lives running from it. -Brené Brown

I’ve done my fair share of running from my stories. Got myself in depressionland trying to run from my darkness, not wanting to accept my vulnerabilities. And most of all feeling shame and blaming myself and others for all that had befallen me. Depression wasn’t a vacation, although to outsiders, it might’ve looked like it, I felt like I was caught in a circular hallway made of doors opening to nowhere. It was dark and gloomy and it felt as if it would never end.

Therapy helped me to own my story, the good and the bad. It was a process, but with the support of my therapist, yoga, the support of friends and family and a willingness to feel better, I remember the gloom lifting progressively and wisps of hope coming back into my life. I drew from them to move forward and get out of my dungeon of dark thoughts.

As I got back to the light I was able to step back into my life. I learned valuable lessons from this:

  • you are not your thoughts;
  • this to shall pass;
  • rest when you need it;
  • support and help are always available when you ask for it;
  • go take a walk and breath;
  • take responsibility for what is yours (actions, thoughts, feelings);
  • Do more of what you love!

#shinetrue #shinetruecoaching #shinetrueessence